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A Troubled
Relationship
Leads
To A Troubled Mind
What are the characteristics of a troubled relationship?
We can say that a healthy
relationship is
characterized by sharing,
respect, love, nurturing, love, loving sex, similar interests,
kindness, growth, laughter, commitment, fidelity, to name just a few.
Unfortunately
it is not simply that easy to define a relationship in trouble
as one
lacking one or more of the characteristics of a healthy relationship.
Surprisingly,
a relationship in trouble is often one that on the surface seems to be
a
‘good’ relationship with ‘a few problems’.
Now, there is a difference
between a troubled or unhealthy relationship and abusive relationships,
and also
between an overtly abusive relationship (physical abuse) and a covertly
abusive relationship (mental or emotional abuse).
The
primary signs of an abusive relationship are:
- Physical abuse – e.g., sexual abuse, physical
violence
- Verbal abuse – e.g., name calling, insults,
criticism
- Mental abuse – e.g., threats, covert
manipulation
In
a relationship with some conflict (we don’t agree about which
school our kids should attend in the fall), you will argue...but is not
the same as abusive
relationship.
No, on the surface it isn’t. A troubled relationship and/or an
unhealthy
relationship are characterized by less obvious manipulation
tactics, behaviors and responses, e.g., using silent treatment,
nagging, ignoring, implicit threats, etc. to get your own way.
As
I
said, on the surface this doesn’t seem abusive, but it is definitely a
warning sign that something should be done to address the problem.
Relationship
issues unless confronted are insidious. It is a sad fact of
life that
when certain behaviors result in desired reactions – you demand, your
partner jumps – these behaviors are used in preference to ‘going the
long way round’, e.g., negotiation, communication, therapy,
understanding.
Bear in mind, too, that while
healthy
relationships are said to be good for your stress levels and
happiness, troubled relationships can, quite literally, be a killer.
For
additional
relationship
help
advice, such as the troubled
relationship section here, please visit the related
topics: relationship
therapy, relationship
counseling, online
life coach, marriage
help, relationship
coach, online relationship
advice and divorce
advice.
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