Single Parent Dating
can be Enjoyable and Safe

• Getting to know people as friends before dating increases the safety of dating and meeting new people.

• To maximize safety, choose group activities, daytime activities with the children along, and stay in public places until you establish your date’s character.

• Meeting other single parents at PTA, church, school or sporting events is a great, non-threatening way to begin.

• The public setting provides safety, a chance to get to know the other person, and to find out what others think of him or her.

• Meeting his or her children or other family members will quickly reveal their values and attitudes.

• When you are going out on a date, let your kids know that you're going out with a friend. It’s a simple, honest explanation.

• Especially with younger kids, no more details are needed; if they ask who the friend is, simply say that it is someone from work, a friend of your neighbor, or whoever it is.

• Don’t try to explain too much – simpler is better.

• As your relationship grows, then gradually start introducing your new relationship to your children.

• Don’t introduce your children to someone you’re dating until you’re pretty sure the relationship is going somewhere.

• Meeting several different people over time will only confuse your kids, and they may come to resent your dating anyone at all.

• Once you’re ready to introduce your significant other to your children, do so slowly.

• The first time, it should be simply ice cream or perhaps some time in the park.

• Gradually allow more time with the kids and include them on some appropriate "family dates."

• Here is a very important single parent dating tip: make it clear from the beginning that your children will come first in any situation.

• If this seems to be a problem for anyone you’re seeing, it’s time to stop the relationship.

• Any man or woman who is jealous of your children isn’t a good bet for a relationship.

• If you’re a single parent who only sees his/her children every other weekend or a similar schedule, make this clear.

• Tell someone you are dating that you won’t be available on those weekends, and stick to it until you’re ready to have everyone get together.

• This reassures your children and gives the person you’re dating an idea of the commitment involved in dating someone with children.

• If you allow your kids to get close to someone early on, only to break up with them a few months later, they will end up hurt and confused.

• This is essential for single parent dating especially if you’re just starting to date again or if you’ve recently divorced.

• Once your children have met someone you’re dating, listen to their input.

• This doesn’t mean nixing your social life if your son or daughter says, "I don’t want you to date anymore," without a good explanation.

• However, if he or she says they really don’t like him/her because he/she yells at them, doesn’t pay attention to them or just makes them uncomfortable, listen.

• Discuss the concerns with your companion, watch how he or she interacts with your children and put some real thought into the situation.

• Your children need reassurance that dating someone is completely separate from your love for them.

• Explain the importance of having a special adult in your life, but that it doesn’t diminish your feelings for them.