Finding Penpals is a Great Way
to Make Friends and Meet People

• The first few letters are usually easy. Include basic introductions about self, family, home and interests.

• It is best not to write your entire life story on the first letter.  Save some for the next letter.

• If both of your interests involve meeting someone who might be a future dating partner, understand that just as you may be writing several penpals to find a match...so may he/she.

• There is no guarantee that at first you will have enormous dating success.

• It is up to both of you whether to remain as a penfriends or take it to the next stage in the relationship.

• Most penpals are interested in the country and culture of their new acquaintance.  Especially if they have never been there.

• Discussions about culture and family life is always a good way to get to know someone.

• Don't promise any travel plans immediately.

• You will want to know each other fairly well before you announce a stronger intention to get together in person.

• A nice photo should be included in your first letter or email.

• The picture should be recent and accurately representing you.

• Don't waste either of your time by sending false promises...you'll only be putting off the inevitable.

• Mailing letters overseas requires patience due to host countries possible restrictions on postal service.

• Sometimes the mail can be lost or stolen.  So don't be upset with a slow, or even no reply.

• You may want to write a second time, even before you receive a letter in reply.

• Remember that courtship is an old fashioned term in the West; however not so in the East.

• Previous relationships.  The penpal doesn't want your baggage and do not ask about theirs.

• Sex.  It may embarrass them. In many countries, the idea of the virgin bride may be strong.

• Even if he/she isn't, you could cause some awkward feelings.

• Politics and human rights issues.  Respect their laws and government.

• Regardless of where someone lives, consideration and caring is the same.  The little things you do will make him/her know you care.

• In the beginning, a card for her birthday may be appropriate.  And as you progress in your relationship a small gift perhaps.

• Inevitably after a few letters there may be some conflict.  Some are caused by misunderstandings of language or customs.

• Try learning some of your penpal's language.  This will really put you in good light.

• By showing a caring patience and a sincerity (with a bit of effort) you'll be rewarded.

• Let common sense prevail here.  Time is a factor.  If your penpal hits you up in the first few letters, then be wary.

• After a period of time, you will have an idea for the way your partner feels towards you.

• Spending money doesn't just include cash.  In your penfriend's case, a simple card, a small gift or spending money on a text message or phone may equate to a lot of money for them.