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Is an Internet
Dating Service
The Right Option For You?
If
used properly, an internet dating service can be a big boost
to
your dating life.
But if you are unaware of some of the
pitfalls,
it can have a huge negative impact as well.
In
recent years online dating services have tried to facilitate
online social interactions.
However, statistics have shown that the number
of successful relationships have not increased proportional to the
number of online dating users.
Simple emails
on the other hand, have been shown to help in maintaining penpals and
long distant relationships.
Why is this?
Most of these internet dating agencies have failed to deliver a total
social networking solution to members.
Here are some
of the strengths and weaknesses as we see it with an online internet
dating
service:
Online
Interactions
- Online
interactions refer to chat rooms, instant messaging, and message boards.
- The
internet has become a popular place to socially interact, as seen in
the increasing popularity of chat rooms and virtual communities.
- But
many organizations see this as a way to push advertising...which can
result in unwanted banners and unsolicited emails to its members.
- According
to a recent study, hours online have increased while television time
has decreased. Recent market research estimates that an average
internet user will be online for 4 hours each day.
- Two-thirds
of members of online forums reported forming offline friendships.
- Most
relationship experts would agree that the internet should be used to
initiate or facilitate social interactions.
- However,
it should NOT replace live meetings.
Ineffective
Communication
- One main disadvantage of online social
interactions is that people are unable to fully express themselves
online.
- Nonverbal
cues such as body language, facial
expressions, and pitch or tone of voice, are absent from online
interactions.
- Studies reveal that face-to-face
meetings expressed more agreement with one another.
- Mistakes about
warmth and coldness of individuals online were very common.
- To
substitute for the lack of nonverbal cues, people online have created
emoticons such as a smile, frown, or stick our tongues out as well as
linguistic "softeners" like the words "y'know" and "like".
Slow
Impressions
- The rhythms of impressions are slower and
choppier
than face-to-face interactions.
- Delays of a few
seconds may convey false hesitation or disinterest.
- The
rhythms of email or discussion forums are even slower. These delays
make people seem colder than they would be if face-to-face interactions
had taken place.
- Also, meeting someone online takes
about (3X) more time to develop impressions of each other than the a
face-to-face meeting.
Increased
Social Isolation
- The
internet has increased social isolation.
- A recent
Stanford study of over four thousand individuals reported that the more
time people
spend using the Internet, the more they lose contact with their social
environment.
- And the more time they spend working at
home or at the office.
- The researchers reported that
chat rooms are for "the young" and the anonymous. Using chat rooms
substantially decreases after age 25.
As
most of our dating relationship advice revolves, use this service if it
meets your needs, but do not rely on it to solve your dating problems.
Meeting
someone face-to-face is always preferable than from behind your
computer screen. Use the internet dating service as a means
to
get to the "in person" contact.
** What is your experience
with an internet dating service? **
Share your
internet dating service experience with us so
that we may compile a list and post the results
to our monthly
e-zine newsletter. Click
here...or on the "My
Experience" link to the left to submit your ideas.
For additional online
dating match topics, such as the Internet
dating service section here, don't forget to take a
peek at the online dating, dating sims, long
distance relationship and penpals
sections as well.
In the mood for something romantic?
Don' forget to check out our flirting,
best love, first time, love ideas and romantic ideas
sections
for more inspiration.
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