Breakups are Never Easy
Getting Dumped is Even Worse

• You may experience an identity crisis, not knowing who you are anymore without your partner.

• Not necessarily because you didn't have your own identity while in the relationship, but that your relationship had become part of that identity.

• This too will change and you will feel more secure in yourself again.

• Try to realize that you won't feel like this forever.

• In time, it won't hurt as bad. But in the meantime let yourself grieve your losses fully. Don't hold it in.

• Breakups might make your feel like you have lost everything that was important to you and you're not sure what to do anymore.

• But understand, this feeling will pass and you will get through this.

• You may find yourself questioning who you can trust, including your own judgment since you may not have expected the break-up.

• You may wonder if you were wrong to have trusted your partner. You may begin to question how real your relationship was because if it was real how could it be over?

• While it takes time, you can re-build trust in yourself and others again.

• Even though this relationship is over that doesn't mean that you were wrong to trust her/him, and even if you were that doesn't mean that you'll make that mistake again. You can learn from this.

• It is really important that you try to separate out which of your feelings, beliefs and responses belong to the present situation and which ones belong to the past.

• Separating past and present feelings will help you to attach less of your pain to the break-up and can help you to feel more hopeful about getting over this break-up, because maybe you are not as upset about the relationship ending as you thought.

• Even if it doesn't feel like that right now, know that your pain moves in stages.  It has a beginning, middle, and an end. It might help to know where you are in the process.

• In the beginning, you may feel in shock, denial, or numb. It may be hard for you to believe what has happened. It may be hard to make sense of it all. It may take awhile for you to fully comprehend that the relationship is over.

• This period of disbelief or shock is the body's natural protection against pain. You may even try to get back together even when you know it's over.

• At this stage, you may have trouble remembering things, focusing, and feeling a sense of purpose or direction in their lives - you may feel as though you are drifting through the day. This is a natural initial reaction to loss.

• The middle stage involves feeling fear, anger and depression. This stage often lasts the longest and can be filled with feelings of insecurity, panic, worry, crying, anger, and feelings of depression.

• Some people, during breakups, don't allow themselves to feel, while others have trouble letting go of how they are feeling. Both are essential - feeling and eventually letting go.

• Early on, you may think that you will always feel this way, but you won't. Your feelings will pass. You'll discover that the time between down periods increases. 

• The last stage is when you begin to accept that the relationship is over, and that you're going to be okay. You realize that you haven't thought about your ex-partner in awhile, and that without realizing it you are moving on. You've gained back some of your zest for life, and are beginning to see a future ahead of you.

• Filling your life with activities that you enjoy is a way to bring yourself back to health.